Brain dump.

I now present: Shit that came out of my brain and found its way into my “writing brainstorming” document on Google Drive that I have suddenly decided to share with you because it’s my fucking blog and I’ll post what I damn well please, bitch!

poppins

And here I am, holding myself hostage to the imagined desires of people who barely spare me a second thought.

The words “I love you” kind of lose their meaning when the person saying them is stabbing you repeatedly in the heart.

Bitch! I eat humble pie with a fuckin ladle!

Hugging Osiris, Feline Overlord; it puts hairs on your chest!

Some people run a sword through you and then yell at you for bleeding on the carpet.

I have two speeds, On and Off, and I don’t have control of the switch.

According to a recent poll conducted only among people who said they like me, 100% of respondents said they like me!

How to make ice tea: Boil water, forget water, re-boil water, forget water, re-boil water, make tea, forget tea, find tea next day, nice and cool!

After two nights of barely sleeping, my current level of emotional stability is: Whiny with a chance of mass casualties.

PETA says: “In every package of chicken, there is a little poop.”
I ask: “Do you own a rectum? Yes? Well then there is a little poop in everything you own. On every inch of your home.”

Little known facts: pouring hot water from the kettle onto your hands is painful.

According to a recent survey conducted here in this living room, when asked the question: Do I pronounce *Fouillis de feuilles mouillées qui ouananiche ya mouche la biche* correctly? 100% of responders said: Whut????

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