…I can tell you have the legs of a writer.
I have a yeast infection. Yes. I said yeast infection. I started this blog entry with a funny line to lull you into a false sense of comfort so I could tell you there is fungi growing in my vagina.
I’m tired and I feel ugly. I am bloated and my vagina is irritated. My bra is constricting my chest but no bra means boob pain. I may be ovulating or maybe it’s the time for my period but having had a hysterectomy several years ago, I have no fucking clue which or if it is even either of those things. For all I know this is just some FREE BONUS BLOATING AND VAGINAL IRRITATION special my body is having this week. I’m a woman. C’est la vie. Woohoodooduhleedoo!
I love the internet. I can come on the internet and discuss my yeast infection. If I walked up to a table full of strangers at Starbucks and started talking about my vagina, I would probably end up wearing a unicorn frappachino. It’s just as well since I am allergic to dairy… and the last thing I need after being brutalized by strangers in a coffee shop on a day where I feel bloated and ugly, is to end up in the hospital’s shock unit being pumped full of medication.
Yeah… really love the internet.
Know what I am doing right now? Do you want to know? Well fuck you! I’m telling you anyway! I’m cooking calf liver. I braised it in blood orange infused extra virgin olive oil and then drizzled thick syrupy expresso infused balsamic vinegar. It’s now simmering in a little bit of beef broth. It’s gonna be awesome!
So, let’s re-cap: I have a yeast infection and I am eating liver on purpose. I wonder how else I can gross you out…
Did you know that, initially, this post was going to be about fibromyalgia pain? Things don’t always go according to plans…