You hate me!

(TRIGGER WARNING: Child abuse)

bear
Image found on Pinterest. Credited to this site:  wiebkerauers.tumblr.com

You hate me! I know it!

I’ve offended you, hurt your feelings, insulted your culture, stepped on your toes and/or microwaved your favourite squirrel. The jury’s still out, but I quite possibly caused World War II and ruined the ending of your favourite television series.

You hate me. My anxiety said so. So there’s no point in arguing.

My anxiety never lies. She looks after me and prevents me from doing any more dumb shit than I have already done. My anxiety likes to remind me, daily, hourly even, of all the times I fucked up. It’s not to be mean; she does that to help me learn to stay in my corner and stop annoying other humans with my stupidity.

I don’t want you to hate me. I want you to love me. I’m small and lost and afraid and I need tenderness. But if I ask for tenderness, if I show my weakness, maybe you’ll get angrier and hit me with a wooden spoon or lock me in the cupboard.

I won’t ask.

Advertisements

One Comment Add yours

  1. haengjin says:

    😦 You are wonderful *Hugs you*

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s