For years now, every time I tell someone about a crazy episode of my life, they tell me I should write a book. At first I shrugged it off as nonsense. Then the idea started to take hold… but my lack of confidence and self esteem told me it was arrogant of me to think I had anything even remotely interesting enough to warrant a book. I told myself that no one would ever be interested in reading it.
So what’s changed? I’ve decided that I want to read it! And that’s good enough! I’m also pretty sure there’s another 2 or 3 people who might want to read it too! But most of all, I’ve realized that I need to write it. This is going to be a form of therapy.
I’m going to write me a book about my life!
This morning I sat down and just threw a few words on a Google document. I started my book. Wanna read the beginning? The first beginning, that is; I’m fairly certain it’ll get re-written to death in the coming millennia. Yes, I said millennia. You didn’t think I’d get this written quickly, did you?
Here it is, the beginning:
“People keep telling me I should write a book. O.K so…. I’ll write a book. Now… How the hell does one start a book? Oh. Well I guess I just did, didn’t I? Wooooo! This is going really well! I may be a natural at this writing a book thing!
You’re probably too impressed with my impressive start to a book to have noticed but I have yet to tell you what this book is about. It’s quite simple actually. It’s a book about me. So… it’s a book about everything and nothing and everything in between, it will have a lot of suspension marks and excessive punctuation!!! It’s gonna be awesome! It’s also going to use words that are absolutely words even if the Grand Master of Red Squiggly Lines says they are not.
(French interlude. Queue Félix Leclerc music.)
Bon… la je présume que vous allez vous demander pourquoi une Québécoise francophone a choisi d’écrire une genre d’autobiographie en Anglais. La réponse est simple: Parce que c’est de même que j’ai envi de le faire! Parce que je le fais pour moi, pas pour la Francophonie. Z’êtes pas obligé de le lire mon mautadine de livre!”
So? Wasn’t that, like, the most amazingly astonishing, fantastic start to a book, like, ever?!?!?!? Now quit bothering me, I need to write more!