Trepanning.

Just gonna drill a wee hole here and let some stuff seep out…

I wish I were able to write more when I am feeling like I am feeling more. I think it would help me to sort out the giant tangled mess in my head and heart. But I’m scared to do so… afraid it will seem like some nonsensical stream of consciousness. Or worse yet, that it might be an embarrassingly raw exposition of my deepest fears and emotions.

Nevertheless… here is stuff that needs to come out.

When I grow up, I wanna be this woman:
toddlergrandma
Who wouldn’t wanna be a toddler grandma!?

I think I know why I think I am ugly… I hate myself. When I hate someone, they look ugly to me. I don’t know why I hate myself; I think I am pretty damn cool… but… I’m broken. I don’t think I am ready to push that thought further right now.

Monday’s Discover Weekly on Spotify could be called Let’s ruin a songs! Barry Manilow should be barred from doing any more covers. Ever!

Right now I feel like a very small animal clinging to a piece of driftwood going down a very big river. I can’t get my bearings and I can’t seem to stop. My head is spinning and I am nauseous. I am too tired to struggle to get back to dry land so I just cling, shut my eyes and go along.

Fibromyalgia is kicking my ass big time today. Ow.

Apparently our apartment building was wired by an alchemist… or a Jack Russell Terrier.. or a an overenthusiastic knitter… or… someone who knew nothing about electricity but wasn’t about to let that get in the way of receiving one of those nice electrician pay checks.

canada-goose
The majestic Canada Goose or if you prefer: Murder chicken.

Elvenar, Farmville for people who wanna play Lord of the Farmville Rings.

So yeah… that was random as all hell.

Now… Don’t bother me; I have eleven years of Grey’s Anatomy to watch!

 

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