A Prius with A/C. A Prius. With air conditioning. FUCK YOU, YOU WANNA BE ENVIRONMENTALLY CONSCIOUS HUMAN BEING! Grrrrrrrrrrr! People make me mad when they do such contradictory things. I need to lighten the hell up. lol!
It has been three days since my last confession. I have sinned. A lot. And I am planning a lot more sin. Leviticus will not be pleased…
On Wednesday I got this little beauty tattooed on my left arm. It is the first piece, the cornerstone, the starting point of a much larger and elaborate piece. The finished product will start at my left fingers and end at my right fingers; it will run up my arm, across my chest and down my other arm. The meaning on the project is simple: Bring in light and colour and joy and peace and all that is good and expel/let go of all that is dark and shadow and sadness and rage.
The fox is me. A paradox, small predator, the fox is also a prey. Foxes are cunning and fast, mostly solitary, jumpy, ferocious, fidgety, lethal, nervous, alert, bouncy, soft and joyful… I identify with foxes and have done for most of my life.
If you look at the fox’s nose and eye, you will see that they form a semi-colon. This is my nod to being a depression/suicide survivor.
From my left fingers, colourful tiny little creatures will enter, following the fox, running up my arm and diving into the center of me (solar plexus) where a small figure will stand (another representation of me). The figure will be half bold colours, half black. From the figure, all manner of little monsters and symbols of sadness, grief, sorrow, anxiety, fear will exit, up my right shoulder, down my right arm to a larger raven which will be placed about the same on my right arm as the fox is on my left, and dark birds will continue the journey down to my right fingertips. A constant flow or unending parade of joy and sadness, positive and negative. A goal: to let go of the bad and welcome in the good.
I will delve deeper into the significance of the raven when I actually get it done.
Today I feel bleh… I’ve gone down the rabbit hole of being convinced I’ve annoyed someone to the point that they are ignoring me. I have no reason to think that other than they are not responding to a couple of messages I sent… gawd I feel silly even typing it! They’re probably busy or they’re like me and they don’t feel like talking to other hoomans sometimes; it could be a dozen different reasons, but my broken brain has decided it’s because I am an annoying assclown. Fuck you, low self esteem! And fuck you, Facebook! Facebook is the best worst damn thing that ever happened to me!
Think I’m gonna go waste half an hour stalking strangers on Instagram now…