It’s hot, I smell, the apartment is a mess and I didn’t ask to be born.

Well… the title says it all so you can all go home now.

I spent the entire day logged in to WoW, playing, chatting and doing laundry. A very exciting day.

I wanted to talk about yesterday. Yesterday was wonderful. I took it easy in the morning and then Vin and I went to lunch at La Cage. We stuffed our faces and enjoyed the gorgeous weather. It was very sunny but we were under a tree that provided just the perfect filter for the light; it’s wasn’t dark but we didn’t get sunburned.

Vin says I was radiant. It’s odd how men often find us the most beautiful on the days we feel most like doodoo. Maybe it’s the vulnerability they find attractive?

In what was nothing short of a miracle, Vin had earlier declared that he wanted to go buy clothes. I have to threaten this man’s life to get him to buy himself clothes usually so I was quite excited! Of course, the exercise ended in me getting more stuff than him! My favourite purchase being a plush goat that makes goat sounds! A goat that makes goat sounds is a wonderful thing! All in all, we didn’t do anything special; we hung out together. We looked at hundreds of t-shirts, we laughed at how hysterical some of them were, we tried on the cool ones and we bought a bunch of them and now we be stylin! God, I love my manbeast; I’d be so lost without him.

Have you ever fallen in love with someone? Not romantic love. Just this instant coup de foudre where you just enjoy the hell out of this new person you met. You look forward to having contact with them. You find yourself thinking about them a lot… it becomes almost obsessive. Then, because you suffer from OCD, it DOES become obsessive. It’s not necessarily bad but if it is allowed to run unchecked, you may end up creeping the hell out of the person. Yeah… well that’s happening to me now. And I am struggling very hard to not just suddenly message this new friend every time something pops into my mind that relates to him or what he does or where he lives or any damn thing that pops into my overactive mind! I enjoy talking with him. I don’t want him to think I am annoying. I am utterly terrified that he will and that he’ll stop talking to me. I get attached too easily. Again, that’s not nearly as creepy as it must sound. I just love people. Those words may come back to bite me… cuz I also hate people. Not a woman for half measures, am I. But I love. I love intensely and I love wholly. When I have one of these friend-crushes, I start from the person and I branch out; I learn about their job, their home, their musical interests and so on, I discover new things through this person whose opinion I value. It’s like going on an adventure. It’s wonderful. But because of my intense personality, sometimes it ends with me alone, wondering what happened and hating myself. I don’t want this to happen this time. I have to be strong. I have to temper myself.


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